The birds got their turn: it's time to chase some of America's most wanted. Educate, celebrate, or straight up shame your favorite invasive, controversial, or purely awful species with these cheeky pins.
Chances are, if you're familiar with my stuff, you have some connection to animals. Whether you're a pet owner, a biomedical professional, or you dress up as one and heatstroke in 6-hour registration lines for the love of the game, we're all fans of wildlife here.
Or are we just being lied to?
BIRD CRIMES made waves. Our society tells us that, if they're round, cute, and go "peep," the perpetrators of heinous crimes will always escape justice. BIRD CRIMES hit such a chord, in fact, it was funded in 17 minutes by bird survivors willing to make their voices heard.
But birds aren't the only ones. We learn certain things about animals that have cute little noses and paws that look like ankle socks. "That animal can't be bad," we say, "he has little hands!" "It's not his fault, it's ours," say the masses. "We made them this way, and they're just living their lives!"
Well, to my fellow hard-working citizens, it's time to stop letting these animals get away with murder. Wake up, America.
Why?
I've noticed a trend in my customers, since I started making critters.
A lot of you are zookeepers, ecologists, animal surveyors, and wildlife workers.
I love my furries, and I love my pet owners. But, I not only get orders from animal handlers, I get emails from you guys about representing the species you work with. The photos you guys send me of your zoo kids and wildlife rehab patients keep me going.
BIRD CRIMES was an off-color impulse project making fun of my pet birds. But, the numbers don't lie: my best sellers were actually wild birds, especially the house sparrow. This guy isn't a cute, cuddly, indoor pet: he's one of the most destructive invasive species on the planet.
CRIMES did fantastic, beyond any expectations I had. And, I think it has potential. Not just because I'm a profiteering sellout, but, I think the format's ripe for some more controversial commentary.
We have a complicated relationship with the animals we share space with. People have a tendency to treat animals a certain way, based on how we see them portrayed in culture and creative applications. This gets a lot worse when media, anthropomorphic stereotypes, and symbolism gets involved. Whether we like it or not, our own emotions and biases can extend to how we treat our environment: and, as an animation fan, I feel like it's my job to undo some of the Bambi damage.
Laugh at these CRITTER CRIMES. That's my main goal. But, just know, it's OK to talk about why we hate some animals, and why we won't take action against others based on how cute we find them.
Anyways, you better keep your cats inside or I'm going to hurt your feelings.
Backers returning from BIRD CRIMES, GOLDEN AGE PARROTS or both have a surprise waiting for them! This bird's thematically found himself in the critter lineup. What's he doing here? Well, if you're following the HUSTLE, you're probably here for birds, anyway.
This barn owl pin's my thanks for continuing to support my bad ideas. He's a full-sized 1.75" pin. The barn owl pin will be automatically added to all pledges with a HUSTLE rap sheet. You can opt out of him if you're not interested, or you can pick up another couple to make your own gang of delinquents. Up to you!
Backers who purchase 5 or more CRIMES pins during the CRITTER CRIMES campaign are entitled to compensation. That compensation? An inside joke only people who were tweens during 2007-2012 will get. I see you, Flipnote Hatena survivors!
This little spitfire is a full-sized 1.75" pin. My Telegram chat full of like-minded degenerates voted on her features. Do you like her mismatched demon and angel wings, her Kandi, and her arm cuff? I sure don't. God, she's heinous.
Pledge levels of 5 pins or more will qualify for the sparkledog. This includes new CRITTER CRIMES, as well as BIRD CRIMES repeat offenders. Tossing pins in as an addon? No worries - I'll make sure you don't get left out.
Just like the owl, if you're not interested in this misunderstood menace, you can opt out of her during your survey. Or, if you're, like, awful, you can buy a bunch more as addons.
At our $6k stretch goal, all backers will get a free 4" sticker sheet.
This is a 4" vinyl sheet with 10 little, chaotic critters partaking in normal animal activities. Stick these guys on notebook margins, behind cabinet doors, or other discreet locations to make your day a little more hectic.
If we don't reach our $6k goal, or, if you just want another sheet, you can pick up as many as you'd like for $4 as addons.
Did you miss BIRD CRIMES? Did you miss a pin you wanted? Do you want to bulk out your prison bus with a bigger load of criminals? Let's do it.
Backers can snag all regular BIRD CRIMES designs during their survey. The best part? They'll be at campaign prices! Package your picks wisely, and you can rack up bulk discount rates too - as low as $12.25 per pin. With so many more menaces to pick from, t'll be a whole lot easier to reach our free pin and discount minimums.
This is Budgie, Cockatiel, Green cheek conure, Lovebird, Parrotlet, Zebra finch, Rooster, Broody Hen, Sparrow, Pigeon, Cockatoo, Seagull and Kakapo pins. If CRITTER CRIMES unlocks 2" MUGSHOT stickers, you can get those, too!
Some BIRD CRIMES backers also got a special Blue Jay pin. If you got combined shipping with Backyard Birds, but were charged for both campaigns, it was our little "I'm sorry" gift to you. We appreciate your understanding here: however, we didn't expect people to REALLY want this pin.
I get emails every couple weeks asking where to buy this guy. Some B-grades with defects were offered in the HUSTLE store, but no A-grade collectible pins were ever available.
Since the Blue Jay was never offered as an opt-in bonus, we don't feel like it's fair not to give people at least one chance to grab it. So, we're doing that: you can choose the Blue Jay 1.75" pin and 2" sticker in your design line up!
CRIMES pins are 1.75" black nickel plated hard enamels. They're a wearable size, with two posts to keep them secure wherever they're loitering.
CRIMES are hard enamel pins, meaning they are machine polished to a flush, shiny finish. This is the standard for modern collectors, so they'll fit right in with other contemporary enamel work. To replicate the classic, nostalgic look of awkward mugshots of days gone, they use sepia-colored fills. With warm, sleek grays, they fit any outfit, pin board, or itabag.
Each pin has screen-printed text, so even at a small size, they are readable gags as much as they are wearable art. High-quality screenprint should last years even with regular wear, and even rubbing against the plastic front of a display bag or seeing daily use, it will hold strong.
Pins are the same dimensions, style, and pantone colors as BIRD CRIMES. If you're up to collect the full sets, they'll look good together!
There are 3 base goal pins for CRITTER CRIMES.
Once CRITTER CRIMES is funded at $2k, all three of these pins will be available.
STRETCH GOALS will be unlocked as funding pushes above and beyond our goal.
As stretch goals unlock, so will bundle options for pins! Bundles offer a discount for the more pins you buy. Buy a set three-pack of our original three criminals, or mix-and-match two, five, or six!
A baker's dozen bulk option will be available as more pins unlock + ALL CRIMES including these pins, as well as every BIRD CRIMES design.
It wouldn't be a KEN'S PIN HUSTLE project without more options.
You saw these guys above, but, BIRD CRIMES pins and stickers will be available as soon as our first funding goal hits.
You can either pick these guys as part of your pledge, or stick a few in as addons at the end. Both options work!
MUGSHOTS stickers are back. They'll be unlocked at $4k.
MUGSHOTS are 2" weatherproof vinyl stickers, in all of the CRITTER CRIMES designs you could ever want. Pin too bulky? Too expensive? Here's your solution!
These bad boys stick, and stay, on any smooth, flat surface. They're awesome for anything that gets water or sun exposure, and they can even survive strong soaps and hot water.
CUSTOM CRIMES are back! Got a critter committing misconduct in your life? Get them a mugshot!
This is a digital art commission of your pet, character, or favorite animal proudly (or, not) displaying proof of their guilt. A 3" double-sided mini badge, or a full-sized 5" convention badge are included in this price.
I'll only be offering 30 of these during the campaign, so if you're looking for one, get in there quick!
PRIDE PARROTSare back, thru CRITTER CRIMES! Preorder one of these birdies thru the campaign for Summer 2025 delivery.
These were pins I made back in 2021, and every time I re-listed them, they'd sell quick. So, in a truly, painfully garbage time for LGBT legal issues and healthcare rights, these birds are back with a fresh new "old animation" look, plus two more colors.
You guys know the drill: every year, I like to throw money at Gay Men's Health Crisis. They're one of the most consistent assistance orgs for LGBT+ and HIV+ people in my home state. $1 from every vaguely rainbow-colored critter I've made goes to this nonprofit.
GMHC has grown from a bunch of gay guys in an apartment talking about bureaucratic failure, to a bastion of support. They've consistently provided for their charges with everything they're given. We're talking everything from legal counsel, to mental health help, to hot meals and pantry goods to HIV+ New Yorkers for decades.
In a time where gay activism is arguing about which fictional characters can be drawn banging, GMHC is doing real work to fight issues we try to forget. Institutional healthcare denial, poverty, and long-lasting stigma affect people alive today.
As a cook, and as a cook who's needed a lot of help to get where I am, I know a hot meal can make the difference between a wasted day and a milestone met. GMHC does a lot of things, but, making sure people get fed - both boots-on-the-ground lawyers, social workers, and support staff, as well as the people they serve - is where it gets personal.
GMHC just updated their meals program, so they're in-house instead of catered. It's an important time, now more than ever, to bolster their resources and recoup costs.
A portion of every PRIDE PARROT will go to GMCH's meals program. Hot food, without question, to those affected by HIV and AIDS. This year, it'll be $2 per pin.
