Good evening, criminals! Let's get a recap for all you night owls.
It's going to be a little past 9 PM EST when this goes out, so it'll be 12 hours since CRITTER CRIMES launched this morning.
Not gonna mince words: we have unlocked every critter I've cleaned up art for. All announced pins are now available.
These CRITTER CRIMES pins are available (so far) to everyone during surveys:
Domestic terrorism Raccoon
Insurance fraud Deer
Genocide Cat
Vandalism Barn Owl (one free to all repeat backers)
Copyright infringement Sparkledog (one free to all backers of 5+ pin tiers)
Tax evasion Opossum
Disturbing the peace Red Fox
Squatting Free-tailed Bat
Biological warfare Brown Rats
Kidnapping Coyote
3 CREATE A CRIMINAL mystery felons: reptile, mammal, and "reptile"
Just to clear it up: yes, you can select extra Barn Owl or Sparkledog pins during your survey as CRIMES options. Never fear: I can make too much money off of retail sales to cut them off completely.
These BIRD CRIMES will also be available to everyone during surveys:
Bribery Cockatiel
Harassment Budgerigar
Disturbing the peace Greencheek Conure
Murder Parrotlet
Tax fraud Lovebird
Conspiracy Zebra Finches
Assault and battery Rooster
Kidnapping Broody Hen
Trespassing House Sparrow
Code violations Pigeon
Vandalism Cockatoo
Grand larceny Seagull
Indecent exposure Kakapo
Assault Blue Jay (campaign ONLY, no retail stock after CRITTER CRIMES)
These PRIDE PARROTS pins are available, with a $2 donation per pin to Gay Men's Health Crisis and their meals program. They're ready to add, either as tier options or addons, to any pledge:
Rainbow budgerigar
Pastel cockatiels
Gothic pigeons
Bumblebee raven
MUGSHOT stickers were also unlocked back at $4k, and $6k means all of you get a free sticker sheet! Spruce up your pledge with some sticker addons, if you'd like: my current largest order from my sticker guys is $1.3k. Can we beat that and make their week horrible?
(sorry, Chris and Megan. I'm so sorry.)
Since there are so many options to pick from, I am opening the JUST FUCK ME UP and BAKER'S DOZEN tiers. JUST FUCK ME UP is 8 pins of either series for a discount, and BAKER'S DOZEN is 12 - with another freebie of your choice, of any design.
If you're getting more pins, I strongly recommend upgrading your tier, not just adding single pin addons! Not only will it qualify you for the Sparkledog, it'll net you better prices on each pin. You can freely swap and upgrade tiers until the campaign closes.
Due to the sheer number of pins now available - a problem I am about to make so, so much worse - I will also be adding a +5 pins addon tomorrow. This will fit the quantity pricing, and qualify you for the Sparkledog.
Speaking of making things worse: the next two stretch goals are the Loitering American Alligator and B&E Grizzly Bear.
Unceremonious, unfinished and rough, but, they're here. I've got a back to back clopen tomorrow, so we won't have the final shit for them till the evening. But, they're here. This poor, tired reptile will be able to call his lawyer to clear this misunderstanding up at $7.65k, and this boorish bear will be bagged at $8.4k.
The CREATE A CRIMINAL tiers sold out in the first wind of the campaign. I now have information on what all of these pins are, and I can guarantee you: they are, actually, all really good.
I'll sketch out artwork for our three sponsored criminals tomorrow for their backers to approve, then you guys will learn what they are.
I mentioned in the afternoon update that we're doing a backer vote at $10k. Why not go over there, and leave me your ideas for criminals?I'll take the suggestions that are actually funny and creative (or too profitable to let go) and throw them into a vote for our $10k pin.
I'm off to go walk the dog in this 40 degree weather, and do some more back-end prep.
